R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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