Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
