Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
