I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize