We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize