"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
