did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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