She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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