Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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