Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
