So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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