Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
worst night to have a conscience
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
