I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
