yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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