New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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