It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Ladies don't puke and tell
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
