Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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