We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
