the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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