i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
