Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i dont even know how to be here
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize