If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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