What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
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