god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
