How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
