so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
What a dumb baby whore.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
