If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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