Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
