It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
