her facebook's as public as her vagina
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
