Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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