you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize