how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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