rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
