rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
