she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm passing your future prison.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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