There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
