I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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