when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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