Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize