all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
