Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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