you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
smell my finger.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Boobs are out for the taking
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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