Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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