piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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