I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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