Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
