I just found puke in my bra..
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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