Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Hippo gnu deer
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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