Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
