i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
