So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
