No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
