Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
