did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
