There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
