Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
