oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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