porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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