I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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