I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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