I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
