Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i love accidental penises.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
