oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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