And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
