some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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