it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
